I’ve been itching to write about depression since I heard the comment of TV Host Joey de Leon about it. That was eight months ago. His comment has led to an outrage (if that’s the proper way to describe it) to another TV Host Maine Mendoza.
“Hindi siya joke. Kasi maraming nakakaranas nun, lalo na sa mga kabataan. Kaya dapat, kung mayroong nakakaranas ng ganun, bigyan natin ng suporta.” (It’s not a joke. Many people suffer from it especially the youth. If someone experiences it, give support.)
I decided not to give my two cents because it feels like I’m using the issue to gain traffic to my website. That’s now introverts show off. Lols.
But I guess it’s time to discuss it because of the recent news about Kate Spade. At age 55, she committed an apparent suicide. I can’t believe that she did it at that age. Although it’s not good to say, it’s better that there’s a foul play in this case. I can’t imagine how depressing her life after all the fame she received.
I’m not judging. I’m trying to look in a different perspective.
By the way, if you’re wondering about de Leon’s comment on depression, here’s his point of view.
“Yung depression, gawa-gawa lang ng mga tao ‘yan. Gawa nila sa sarili nila.” (Depression, it’s just made up by people. They do it to themselves).
When I heard it, I agree with him. It’s not because I agree that it’s made up by people. It exists. But allowing yourself to be depressed is a matter of choice.
I’m not being insensitive at this point. I don’t know how people suffer from depression but I think it’s a matter of choice. You choose if you’ll cross the line. In this case, it’s crossing the line to depression.
I’m saying this comment based on my experience. Not everyone else. I’m aware that we have different ways of handling the challenges that life gives us. Some can handle well, some can’t.
I’m sorry if I can’t accept that people who can’t handle their problem well exist. I know they exist. But I can’t accept it because it’s underestimating the person’s capability. Everyone, teenager or a senior, can get out the rat race and they can make their life better.
I have this thinking because of one of the mantra’s I have in life. “Kung kaya nila, kaya ko rin.” (If they can, I can).
I had this mantra because since I was a child the elders in the family believe that I can. Until this day,like an adult. I have a voice. I can comment. I can suggest. And if they felt that I’m living a life like a child, they pushed me hard to be an adult.
Quarter-life crisis, is it real?
If there’s one instance when depression hits me, it’s when I experienced a quarter-life crisis. Who won’t feel it, if at age 26 you’re not yet done schooling and you don’t know where you’re going.
I felt helpless and hopeless at the same time. And even though I have family and friends who can help me, I felt like that I’ve asked them so much. I can’t afford to ask them more.
Prayer. It started it in this way. If you believe in prayer, you know how it can change a life. I won’t be preachy. It’s not what my blog for.
A best friend’s preaching. Because I don’t have the courage to tell my parents what I’m going through, I talk to my best friend. Here’s one thing he told me, “You’re the only one who can fix your life.” So, he’s not helping either. Ha-ha! That’s what we call, real talk.
From that point, I change course and decided to get my life back. I finished my bachelor’s degree at age 29!
And I’m thankful that I finished Mass Communication. I learned more than writing and mounting a production. I learned that rejection is real. But you’ll go through anyway when you’re persistent enough to get the spot.
By the way, I created this blog because I decided to stop a life full of dramas!
Depression — is it all in the mind? Yes.
But I think, it’s better to say that it’s a decision making issue. Which way you’ll go?
Look, before we cross the line, we’re in that moment when we ask ourselves if we’ll cross it or not. Whether we cross or not, there are consequences. Yet, we need to embrace it. We need to own it.
Death and escape must not be an option. Even they are available to choose. I’m not judging anyone who left us because they opt for those choices. But since you’re alive and kicking, why not choose to live more? You’re strong to brave all the challenges, why give up now? Not even later.
I can’t tell you how to talk with someone experiencing depression. I have a different pool of friends and they all speak in a language that we can tolerate. No sugar-coating, all real talk. We talk that way because want everyone to get out from the life we’re not supposed to be. It may not fit your company but it may work.