health, life lesson

Depression: You’re strong to beat it

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Photo by Daniel Hansen on Unsplash

I’ve been itching to write about depression since I heard the comment of  TV Host Joey de Leon about it. That was eight months ago. His comment has led to an outrage (if that’s the proper way to describe it) to another TV Host Maine Mendoza.

Mendoza answered:

“Hindi siya joke. Kasi maraming nakakaranas nun, lalo na sa mga kabataan. Kaya dapat, kung mayroong nakakaranas ng ganun, bigyan natin ng suporta.” (It’s not a joke. Many people suffer from it especially the youth. If someone experiences it, give support.)

I decided not to give my two cents because it feels like I’m using the issue to gain traffic to my website. That’s now introverts show off. Lols.

But I guess it’s time to discuss it because of the recent news about Kate Spade. At age 55, she committed an apparent suicide. I can’t believe that she did it at that age. Although it’s not good to say, it’s better that there’s a foul play in this case. I can’t imagine how depressing her life after all the fame she received.

I’m not judging. I’m trying to look in a different perspective.

By the way, if you’re wondering about de Leon’s comment on depression, here’s his point of view.

“Yung depression, gawa-gawa lang ng mga tao ‘yan. Gawa nila sa sarili nila.” (Depression, it’s just made up by people. They do it to themselves).

When I heard it, I agree with him. It’s not because I agree that it’s made up by people. It exists. But allowing yourself to be depressed is a matter of choice.

I’m not being insensitive at this point. I don’t know how people suffer from depression but I think it’s a matter of choice. You choose if you’ll cross the line. In this case, it’s crossing the line to depression.

I’m saying this comment based on my experience. Not everyone else. I’m aware that we have different ways of handling the challenges that life gives us. Some can handle well, some can’t.

I’m sorry if I can’t accept that people who can’t handle their problem well exist. I know they exist. But I can’t accept it because it’s underestimating the person’s capability. Everyone, teenager or a senior, can get out the rat race and they can make their life better.

I have this thinking because of one of the mantra’s I have in life. “Kung kaya nila, kaya ko rin.” (If they can, I can).

I had this mantra because since I was a child the elders in the family believe that I can. Until this day,like an adult. I have a voice. I can comment. I can suggest. And if they felt that I’m living a life like a child, they pushed me hard to be an adult.

Quarter-life crisis, is it real?

If there’s one instance when depression hits me, it’s when I experienced a quarter-life crisis. Who won’t feel it, if at age 26 you’re not yet done schooling and you don’t know where you’re going.

I felt helpless and hopeless at the same time. And even though I have family and friends who can help me, I felt like that I’ve asked them so much. I can’t afford to ask them more.

Plot twist

Prayer. It started it in this way. If you believe in prayer, you know how it can change a life. I won’t be preachy. It’s not what my blog for.

A best friend’s preaching. Because I don’t have the courage to tell my parents what I’m going through, I talk to my best friend. Here’s one thing he told me, “You’re the only one who can fix your life.” So, he’s not helping either. Ha-ha! That’s what we call, real talk.

From that point, I change course and decided to get my life back. I finished my bachelor’s degree at age 29!

And I’m thankful that I finished Mass Communication. I learned more than writing and mounting a production. I learned that rejection is real. But you’ll go through anyway when you’re persistent enough to get the spot.

By the way, I created this blog because I decided to stop a life full of dramas!

Going back

Depression — is it all in the mind? Yes.

But I think, it’s better to say that it’s a decision making issue. Which way you’ll go?

Look, before we cross the line, we’re in that moment when we ask ourselves if we’ll cross it or not. Whether we cross or not, there are consequences. Yet, we need to embrace it. We need to own it.

Death and escape must not be an option. Even they are available to choose. I’m not judging anyone who left us because they opt for those choices. But since you’re alive and kicking, why not choose to live more? You’re strong to brave all the challenges, why give up now? Not even later.

I can’t tell you how to talk with someone experiencing depression. I have a different pool of friends and they all speak in a language that we can tolerate. No sugar-coating, all real talk. We talk that way because want everyone to get out from the life we’re not supposed to be. It may not fit your company but it may work.

 

 

 

 

 

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life lesson

Living a Life Against All Odds!

Successful people often say that they are contented in the life they chose. They are at peace and they feel so blessed that everything has gone into place.  They claim that they had chosen the right path. Some would relate their choice in Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. It is true that decision making is one of the key factors to make life successful or to ruin it. Decisions we make today dictates what the future can bring us.

Now, what if you know exactly the life that you wanted but the people around you is not supportive about it? What are you going to do? Let’s take this scenario: You’re from a family of licensed professionals. Maybe one is a doctor, lawyer, accountant, dentist or a teacher and you find yourself loving the nature, loving the trees.  Yes! You want to be a farmer.  You want to be that someone they don’t expect you to be. Are you going to pursue it or just follow them blindly?

Well, should I say you’re so lucky? Very lucky, I mean. Not all people know what they want to be and where they want to go.  They don’t have any plans in life. They don’t have dreams. They never see the future. They do not know the importance of choosing a life that will lead to a happy life. They just go with the flow.

But the most unfortunate people are those who know what they want to do and know where they want to go. But they are just afraid!  They are hindered by their financial status in life (even the people over the poverty line thinks this way), by family and relatives that underestimate their choice or simply because they don’t have the courage to do it.

Sad to say, every one of us needs to make a decision. Everyone must choose and deciding is not easy at all. Check the points to ponder below then think things all over again.

1. Follow your heart. When confusion strikes following your heart is the best thing to do. This is where “the voice within” comes from and the place where you store your dreams and goals. If money profits because you risk it in business (not keeping it) the same thing goes with your dreams.  It’s fine to consider our family’s opinion because they remind us to check reality. If you think you can compromise your dream, stop reading this article!

2.  “Work like you don’t need the money.” It’s a cliché but it’s true. We don’t work to earn money, we work to provide service for the welfare of the needy. If the sole reason for working is all about money,  you’ll get tired too soon and stress will definitely hit your health badly. Most of the time stress replaces the valuable time to be happy. If the charitable people and philanthropists work for money, they will stop helping.

3. Take small steps at a time. There are a lot of ways to reach your goal. If you are hesitant to get the bigger part of the pie then take the smaller one as long as it is the same pie. Don’t waste your time doing things that are not part of your goal. Your smaller steps will increase later on then you’ll become an expert. Experts earn more money!

4. Pray and Trust Him. Lord God gives us the best things in life. Nothing is impossible with Him. This must be the first and last step in everything you do. He removes our confusion and provides our needs when we can’t find it because success in life is spelled GOD.